Yeah, happiness. I could say so without doubt now.
last evening when I came to the eastern comapus of the Agriculture University, I told Xiaohong that I had just had an completely different feeling about life.
How’s the change happened? I think I might as well start from a few months ago when I was at Beijing.
Way, my old aquaintaince, came to Beijing at the end of July. He stayed in my house for a good month during his job-hunting. We had several nights, some in a row, of talk that lasted almost all night. Family rearing, middle school times, intimate relationship, and personal growth were touched upon. More importantly, we really had in-depth talk often to the point of simultaneous inner resonation. The cramped dark room was like a tranquil pool where we poured my thoughts and emotions unworried about be judged.
The night talks were a milestone for me. I realized this just after Way moved out for his new job, though. I felt I had become more self-revealing than ever. The night talks may be a cornerstone that I could see more ahead of me. I abhor shallow optimisticism, but this is, maybe not optimisticism, like, pure pleasant feelings.
Another catalytic agent of the change is that I proactively dialed Laocai, my mentor back in Nanjing, and asked to visit him in the Autumn’s Day. I did pay my visit and I bought him some mooncake and a helping of tea. He asked me to stay for the dinner. We had a pretty long yet pretty easy talk. Time elapsed quickly in that afternoon. I think that for me, asking to visit him and talking with him are much more important than what we had talked. It’s how we talk and how we make the talk possible counts.
In-depth self-revalation and connections with easy aquaintaince must be the contributors of my inner change. The change is still going on. I will not stop here.
The reason that I seem more than willing to meet and talk with my friends is because I thought it right to be more connected with my friends, to talk, to connect with them regularly. If I treat them the way I treat men in the street, my friends aren’t my friends. This is natual and logic. In fact, I first notice the logic, and then I felt myself persuaded by such logic and willing to act under the logic. From logic to emtion, that’s my way to rebuild my inner self.